The Neuroanatomy of Grief

When we develop a relationship with someone, neural pathways form in our brain made up of object cells that form a physical representation of that person.   

Place cells tell us where that person is physically located, and along with object cells, give us a mental map of where that person exists in our external environment. 

When someone dies, the object cells formed by our relationship with that person stop firing, but the person continues to exist for some time in our brain matter through object trace cells. These cells fire when we expect to see the person who has died. 

This is why though you know the person is not going to walk through the door at 5:00 as they did every day, you still look to the door at 5:00 expecting them to do so. The time of day triggers those neural pathways representing the person to fire, making you feel as though they are still alive. 

As time goes on and the person continues not to come home at 5:00, these neural pathways start to fade and the expectation goes away, as the map in your brain begins to align with reality.

Grief is a learning process for your brain. The mourning process helps your brain learn a new reality and rewire. Yes, it’s hard. Be gracious with your brain as it catches up with your mind.