How Grief Messes with Your Appetite

And why it's okay to indulge.

I have pains in my hearts, they have taken my appetite.¹

When we experience trauma, such as the death of a loved one, our body goes into fight or flight mode, and appetite goes by the wayside as our brain pumps out hormones in response to the loss that threatens our well-being. Adrenaline and corticotropin-releasing factor floods our system, suppressing our appetite.

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In this acute phase of grief, the digestive system is deemed nonessential; your body can use its’ reserves to get by while you absorb this new reality. You may be put off by the notion of food, or forget to eat entirely, as your body focuses on survival.

Once we have moved through the initial shock of the death, cortisol swoops in to help mitigate the stress of the tasks at hand. The elevated levels of cortisol aim to keep our most essential systems running, simultaneously turning down our taste buds.

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By now, appetite has returned but food has lost its’ taste. Specifically salty, sour, and bitter foods. So what can you readily taste? Sweets! This tunneling of tasting is coupled with cravings for fat and sugar, as the vagus nerve sends signals between your gut and brain increasing the desire for treats.

Why would our body tell us to eat junk food at a time like this?

Fat is a valuable source of stored energy, precious in times of crisis.

Sugar provides energy on-demand when we’re otherwise slammed with fatigue.

Both trigger serotonin production, alleviating anxiety and promoting rest.

Sugar and fat also release dopamine, allowing you to feel pleasure amidst pain.

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Sugar, fat and carbs may not be staples of your daily menu, but consider letting them be a part of your grieving menu. At least for that initial window when your body is trying to tell you what you need. Be gracious with yourself in your grief.

1. Johnson, R. (1937). Stones In My Passway [Song]. On Stones in my Passway. Vocalion.